Pet Peeves 

If you're anything like me and many of my friends, you are very "into" the English Language; what's proper, what's not, what makes sense, what sounds ridiculous.  The following is a list a few of my friends and I have come up with which (for those who don't know better) can be used as an instructional list, or (for those who do know better) a commiseration list.... 
 
Improper WHY it's improper
"I could care less...." This simply proves that you DO care.  If you don't care at all, you certainly COULDN'T care less.
"Tri-an-tu-la." The large hairy spider is a tar-an-tu-la.  It has more than three (tri) legs!
"Press the Ex-cape key." Please notice that the Es-cape key is abbreviated, spelled and otherwise pronounced with an "S" as the second letter, NOT an "X."  Unless, of course you are referring to a cape that is no longer a cape....
"Asteriks or asterik." Again, please note the spelling and the phonics.  It's as-ter-isk.  Plural is as-ter-isks."
"Pat-ri-ar-ti-cal." It's pat-ri-arch-al. A description of father figure, not the father of a small piece of literature.
"Nu-cu-lar." The word is nuCLEAR.  That's nu-cle-ar.
"The Book of Revelations." It was only one book, and only one revelation, thus it is The Book of REVELATION.  Singular.
"Go-ver-ment." Hard as it is to believe, there is an "N" in the word go-verN-ment."  You don't talk to the goveror.  You talk to the governor.
"Foil-age." It's FOLIage.  That's fo-li-age.  It refers to plantlife, NOT a measure of aluminum skin you put on leftovers containers.
"Ir-re-gard-less." It's a double negative, people.
"All's I'm trying to say is...." This becomes "All is I'm trying to say is..."  A bit redundant, wouldn't you say?
"To whom am I speaking to?" If you can't, don't.
"Li-ter-ture." Properly known as li-ter-A-ture.  It refers to that which those who use the word improperly probably don't understand.
"Ar-tic." It's arc-tic.  Hooked on Phonics comes highly recommended in this case....
"Pun-kin." The squash is not related to plays on words.  It's pump-kin.  Rather like a family of air compressors.
"...have your cake and eat it too..." That's not the hard part.  Eating your cake and having it remain in your possession is what's impossible.
"Jew-ler-y." I know we're belaboring the phonics issue, but really....  It's je-wel-ry.
"Wea-pon-dry." How is the word spelled again...?  Oh, yeah.  Wea-pon-ry.  No "D" in there!
"...and it was, like, so scary..." So what was it? Scary, or just something similar?  We have a hard enough time with the English language.  Must we force the listener to think of synonyms for adjectives?
"Hold the line taunt!" Stop teasing the line, and hold it TAUT!
"Lethicin." You mean those darned label makers spelled the word incorrectly?  THEY seem to think it's spelled lec-i-thin.
"Sup-pose-a-bly." Isn't it weird that it's spelled sup-pos-ed-ly, and pronounced with a "B"?  Maybe because it's not SUPPOSED to be pronounced that way!
"Ig-nernt." Mispronunciation:  It's ignorant.  Notice the syllables:  Ig-nor-ant.
"Ig-nernt," as in "You're so ig-nernt." Because I'm rude to somebody, there's no need to insult my intelligence!
"Over and out." Redundant!  If  you're done talking, you say "over."  If you're done transmitting, the term is "out."  If you're done transmitting, you're done talking, so you don't need the redundant "over."
"She's very dex-ter-i-ous." The word is dex-trous.  Let's not make the word any clumsier than it is.
"Or-i-en-ta-ted." Does this refer to asian potatoes?  Or is it or-i-ent-ed?
"...a extreme situation..." An word that starts with an vowel sound is ALWAYS preceded with "an."  An word that starts with an consonant sound is preceded with "a."
"Expecially" This one is especially irksome.
"ATM Machine", "PIN Number", "VIN Number", "10:00 AM in the morning" Redundant, repetitive, and tautological!

If the slaughter of the english language bothers you too, you are invited to e-mail me and submit others that we haven't yet recorded.
...also, is it just us?  Are we the only ones taking the language seriously?  Are our concerns unwarranted?  If you think we're being too anal, feel free to e-mail us and tell us why.  But keep it civil (...not sieve-all, unless it's full of holes).
 
Computer anecdotes:

 Training an associate in the use of a computer is always fun.  Especially when you are giving a list of instructions that they follow literally.  "Okay.  Type CD, backslash, directory name."  So they type "CD/directory name." have the same side scraped clean

"Press F7."  They type the individual keys F and 7.

"Okay, the key strokes are Escape, C, D."  In their notes, they write, "Exc, C, D."  AAARGH!

Three years into their career, I say, "Put the cursor on this line."
Blank stare.  "What's a cursor?"
Sigh.  "Push this button until this line is a different color."

"Does 'Return' mean the same thing as 'Enter'?"

"Reboot the machine."
Blank stare.
"Press Control-Alt-Delete."
In sequence, they press Control, then Alt, then Delete.


As above, any anecdotes you found amusing are welcome in my e-mail box.


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