|Improper||WHY it's improper|
|"I could care less...."||This simply proves that you DO care. If you don't care at all, you certainly COULDN'T care less.|
|"Tri-an-tu-la."||The large hairy spider is a tar-an-tu-la. It has more than three (tri) legs!|
|"Press the Ex-cape key."||Please notice that the Es-cape key is abbreviated, spelled and otherwise pronounced with an "S" as the second letter, NOT an "X." Unless, of course you are referring to a cape that is no longer a cape....|
|"Asteriks or asterik."||Again, please note the spelling and the phonics. It's as-ter-isk. Plural is as-ter-isks."|
|"Pat-ri-ar-ti-cal."||It's pat-ri-arch-al. A description of father figure, not the father of a small piece of literature.|
|"Nu-cu-lar."||The word is nuCLEAR. That's nu-cle-ar.|
|"The Book of Revelations."||It was only one book, and only one revelation, thus it is The Book of REVELATION. Singular.|
|"Go-ver-ment."||Hard as it is to believe, there is an "N" in the word go-verN-ment." You don't talk to the goveror. You talk to the governor.|
|"Foil-age."||It's FOLIage. That's fo-li-age. It refers to plantlife, NOT a measure of aluminum skin you put on leftovers containers.|
|"Ir-re-gard-less."||It's a double negative, people.|
|"All's I'm trying to say is...."||This becomes "All is I'm trying to say is..." A bit redundant, wouldn't you say?|
|"To whom am I speaking to?"||If you can't, don't.|
|"Li-ter-ture."||Properly known as li-ter-A-ture. It refers to that which those who use the word improperly probably don't understand.|
|"Ar-tic."||It's arc-tic. Hooked on Phonics comes highly recommended in this case....|
|"Pun-kin."||The squash is not related to plays on words. It's pump-kin. Rather like a family of air compressors.|
|"...have your cake and eat it too..."||That's not the hard part. Eating your cake and having it remain in your possession is what's impossible.|
|"Jew-ler-y."||I know we're belaboring the phonics issue, but really.... It's je-wel-ry.|
|"Wea-pon-dry."||How is the word spelled again...? Oh, yeah. Wea-pon-ry. No "D" in there!|
|"...and it was, like, so scary..."||So what was it? Scary, or just something similar? We have a hard enough time with the English language. Must we force the listener to think of synonyms for adjectives?|
|"Hold the line taunt!"||Stop teasing the line, and hold it TAUT!|
|"Lethicin."||You mean those darned label makers spelled the word incorrectly? THEY seem to think it's spelled lec-i-thin.|
|"Sup-pose-a-bly."||Isn't it weird that it's spelled sup-pos-ed-ly, and pronounced with a "B"? Maybe because it's not SUPPOSED to be pronounced that way!|
|"Ig-nernt."||Mispronunciation: It's ignorant. Notice the syllables: Ig-nor-ant.|
|"Ig-nernt," as in "You're so ig-nernt."||Because I'm rude to somebody, there's no need to insult my intelligence!|
|"Over and out."||Redundant! If you're done talking, you say "over." If you're done transmitting, the term is "out." If you're done transmitting, you're done talking, so you don't need the redundant "over."|
|"She's very dex-ter-i-ous."||The word is dex-trous. Let's not make the word any clumsier than it is.|
|"Or-i-en-ta-ted."||Does this refer to asian potatoes? Or is it or-i-ent-ed?|
|"...a extreme situation..."||An word that starts with an vowel sound is ALWAYS preceded with "an." An word that starts with an consonant sound is preceded with "a."|
|"Expecially"||This one is especially irksome.|
|"ATM Machine", "PIN Number", "VIN Number", "10:00 AM in the morning"||Redundant, repetitive, and tautological!|
Training an associate in the use of a computer is always fun. Especially when you are giving a list of instructions that they follow literally. "Okay. Type CD, backslash, directory name." So they type "CD/directory name." have the same side scraped clean
"Press F7." They type the individual keys F and 7.
"Okay, the key strokes are Escape, C, D." In their notes, they write, "Exc, C, D." AAARGH!
Three years into their career, I say, "Put the cursor on this line."
Blank stare. "What's a cursor?"
Sigh. "Push this button until this line is a different color."
"Does 'Return' mean the same thing as 'Enter'?"
"Reboot the machine."
In sequence, they press Control, then Alt, then Delete.